As little as her words convey her meaning now, she had even fewer before on the train. They lacked time, and Vergil gave her his pendant. Mizu's heard little about it, but she's seen how rarely and briefly Vergil parts with it. As someone of few possessions, it is cherished and held close. Yet Mizu did not want to part from him, though they would be forced apart, and he gave her the pendant. Only for a short time, yes, but he gave her part of himself. She wanted to give him something. She needed to release some of the feelings that roiled within her. Somehow those few words pleased him. She hopes that these ones express more what she meant, enough that Vergil can understand what isn't said.
The ocean will be there when she leaves and cold water when she leaves its shores, but Mizu wishes there were a way to bring some sense of Vergil with her. A pointless wish undoubtedly. She doubts they can bring any item of substance with them when they leave, that they must return as they left. It is why she plans to leave her sword to him, that it might not disappear entirely with her departure. No pendant, no glove, no bit of fabric of his will return with her. Only her memories of him, and that, Mizu suspects, will not be enough to ground her when she needs it. Not the way being with him does. Unfortunate, but nothing more could be expected.
Transactional describes most of Mizu's relations in her life. Even her most recent companions. Ringo wanted to be useful in return for Mizu teaching him. Taigen defended her so that they might have their duel. Akemi wanted Mizu to prevent her return to her father. Before that, her mother wanted to be taken care of and to have money for her drugs. Her marriage with Mikio was entirely based on the labor she would provide. Only swordfather. Now Vergil. For all she's taken, all she used Ringo and Taigen, Mizu and Vergil have long surpassed their terms as sparring partners. There is no ledger, no keeping track of how they have each helped each other. No value assigned and compared between what they do. Mizu receives so much from Vergil, and she wishes to provide for him some measure of such safety. Each moment he relaxes with her, trusts her, and lets her protect him, Mizu only wants to protect him more and to make that safety for him.
"I know because I feel the same," Mizu says. "I've long relaxed when you are here, knowing you'll sense anyone coming before I do. When I lack the cold, water, the ocean, even when I have those, I ground myself with you." Mizu pauses and grimaces a little. "I would have been hard pressed to keep my promise to you, not to search for clues to my fathers on the train, had you not come with me in the form of your pendant. No sooner did we part ways than I was in another world, one I then shared with Rin instead of you, when I was faced with the opportunity to force information from my father's business partner."
Mizu pauses and corrects herself.
"His business partner in that world, a man from Rin's history. He was in my grasp, and I could have—" she reaches up and rests her hand over Vergil's pendant or where it would lay, "I killed him and cut down that chance. You return me to myself, that I can choose and do what I decide. That may be the greatest form of protection, not to lose myself but to decide my own fate and make my way. In a fight. In my revenge. In my heart."
Mizu cannot explain why it has come to be that Vergil has near the same effect for her as the ocean and its shadows. It has saved her life more times than she can count. It matters. Perhaps more than the physical safety he provides with his mere presence.
"You are with me nearly every moment," Mizu admits, "when I forged the new steel for my blade, I made it from the brittle blade I first made, and I made it with the glove I stabbed the first time we sparred, and I made it with the jacket I destroyed with a grenade. You are in my sword."
Her cheeks and ears have flushed with color, but Mizu meets Vergil's gaze. Her fingers still against his leg, and she watches him and his reaction. It's been nearly a year, only a couple months shy, since she made her sword. He's been with her long before the first time they kissed. Mizu lacked the words or understanding then, but she knew it was the right choice at the time. It was needed. It would be impossible for Mizu not to feel protected when each swing of her sword carries it.
no subject
The ocean will be there when she leaves and cold water when she leaves its shores, but Mizu wishes there were a way to bring some sense of Vergil with her. A pointless wish undoubtedly. She doubts they can bring any item of substance with them when they leave, that they must return as they left. It is why she plans to leave her sword to him, that it might not disappear entirely with her departure. No pendant, no glove, no bit of fabric of his will return with her. Only her memories of him, and that, Mizu suspects, will not be enough to ground her when she needs it. Not the way being with him does. Unfortunate, but nothing more could be expected.
Transactional describes most of Mizu's relations in her life. Even her most recent companions. Ringo wanted to be useful in return for Mizu teaching him. Taigen defended her so that they might have their duel. Akemi wanted Mizu to prevent her return to her father. Before that, her mother wanted to be taken care of and to have money for her drugs. Her marriage with Mikio was entirely based on the labor she would provide. Only swordfather. Now Vergil. For all she's taken, all she used Ringo and Taigen, Mizu and Vergil have long surpassed their terms as sparring partners. There is no ledger, no keeping track of how they have each helped each other. No value assigned and compared between what they do. Mizu receives so much from Vergil, and she wishes to provide for him some measure of such safety. Each moment he relaxes with her, trusts her, and lets her protect him, Mizu only wants to protect him more and to make that safety for him.
"I know because I feel the same," Mizu says. "I've long relaxed when you are here, knowing you'll sense anyone coming before I do. When I lack the cold, water, the ocean, even when I have those, I ground myself with you." Mizu pauses and grimaces a little. "I would have been hard pressed to keep my promise to you, not to search for clues to my fathers on the train, had you not come with me in the form of your pendant. No sooner did we part ways than I was in another world, one I then shared with Rin instead of you, when I was faced with the opportunity to force information from my father's business partner."
Mizu pauses and corrects herself.
"His business partner in that world, a man from Rin's history. He was in my grasp, and I could have—" she reaches up and rests her hand over Vergil's pendant or where it would lay, "I killed him and cut down that chance. You return me to myself, that I can choose and do what I decide. That may be the greatest form of protection, not to lose myself but to decide my own fate and make my way. In a fight. In my revenge. In my heart."
Mizu cannot explain why it has come to be that Vergil has near the same effect for her as the ocean and its shadows. It has saved her life more times than she can count. It matters. Perhaps more than the physical safety he provides with his mere presence.
"You are with me nearly every moment," Mizu admits, "when I forged the new steel for my blade, I made it from the brittle blade I first made, and I made it with the glove I stabbed the first time we sparred, and I made it with the jacket I destroyed with a grenade. You are in my sword."
Her cheeks and ears have flushed with color, but Mizu meets Vergil's gaze. Her fingers still against his leg, and she watches him and his reaction. It's been nearly a year, only a couple months shy, since she made her sword. He's been with her long before the first time they kissed. Mizu lacked the words or understanding then, but she knew it was the right choice at the time. It was needed. It would be impossible for Mizu not to feel protected when each swing of her sword carries it.